An Open Letter to the Evangelical Church: I Am Not Your Punch Line

There are few things as exhausting, draining, and disheartening as family drama. I’m not talking low-level sibling rivalry over who gets shot gun all the time. I’m talking deep-rooted family issues that go generations back. That kind of family drama shows up in the most inopportune times in the most inappropriate places – at someone’s wedding or funeral, at the family reunion or while grocery shopping.

But when family drama shows up in the Church, it grieves me. It riles me up like nothing else does because it is in my identity as a Christian and Jesus-follower where I am all of who God created me to be and has called me to be – Asian & American, Korean, female, friend, daughter, wife, mother, sister, aunt, writer, manager, advocate, activist. The Church is and should be the place where I and everyone else SHOULD be able to get real and raw and honest to work out the kinks and twists, to name the places of pain and hurt, and to find both healing and full restoration & redemption.

So when the Church uses bits and pieces of “my” culture – the way my parents speak English (or the way majority culture people interpret the way my parents speak English) or the way I look (or the way the majority culture would reproduce what they think I look like) – for laughs and giggles, it’s not simply a weak attempt at humor. It’s wrong. It’s hurtful. It’s not honoring. It can start out as “an honest mistake” with “good intentions” but ignored it can lead to sin.

Fortunately, there is room for mistakes, apologies, dialogue, learning, and forgiveness.

When several of my friends shared with me their experience at a recent church planting conference, I had to remind myself that there is room even when actors in a video clip that is supposed to be about mentoring church planters digress into using fake Asian accents, whip out some fake kung fu (or is karate? Isn’t it all the same?), and play some “Oriental” music in the background to help ground the moment. I had to remind myself that not all of my fellow Asian Americans will think this is a big deal, the sword to die on, the hill to charge. Some might even think it’s funny. Some might laugh because that has been the most acceptable response.

I have heard non-Asian American church leaders, publishers, and authors explain that they didn’t know it wasn’t OK to make fun of the way my parents speak their second language or use a mishmash of “Asian” images because they are cool.

I’ve been told to stop using my voice so LOUDLY, which is pretty funny considering my blog truly does not have as many followers as any one of those church leaders, publishers, authors, conferences, etc.

I’ve been told “complaining” doesn’t further God’s purposes.

I respectfully disagree.  Leaders should know better, and when they don’t they ought to find mentors because that is what I’ve read in all those Christian leadership books written, by and large by White Christian men. And a lifetime in America has taught me that in America and sometimes in the Church, the squeaky wheel gets the grease even if I am the nail afraid to be pushed down. I am not complaining. I am pointing out a blind spot.

I am also remembering the first time my daughter thought she ought to have a beautiful doll with blonde hair and blue eyes because the dolls that looked like her weren’t beautiful. I am remembering the first time my son came home asking him why anyone would talk to him funny and then chop the air and say “ah, soooo”. I remembering the first time my son learned to pull the outer corner of his eyes to make “chinky eyes” and why that was problematic. And I am honoring the memory of those moments and of the lessons of love, courage, and forgiveness I had to teach my children in the face of playground taunts that can take root in their hearts.

The Church cannot be, should never be, a place and a people who make fun of others and perpetuate stereotypes that demean and belittle others’ culture, race, ethnicity, or gender. The Church can be funny, have a sense of humor, and have fun but not at the expense of other people. The Church should be creating culture, not using it as a weapon to put one group down in the name of Jesus. The Church should not be imitating culture for a cheap laugh. Those accents, martial art, and music used for the laugh? There are people connected to those caricatures and stereotypes.

My parents who speak “broken English” and with an accent are people created in God’s image.

My children whose eyes are brown and shaped a little different than the blonde-eyed models in stock photos churches are using to publicize their ministries are created in God’s image.

The martial arts, the music, the language that come from the country of my birth were created by the imagination, artistry, discipline of people created in God’s image.

So, if you are so inclined to join me and others in addressing this family drama of the Church, please consider reading this open letter to the evangelical church and signing it (don’t forget to verify your signature by checking your email). Spread the word. Blog about it. Tweet it.

 

14 Comments

  1. John Robin Hayes October 14, 2013

    Kathy, As usual, I totally agree with you.

    I encourage our “brothers and sisters” in the Lord Jesus Christ, to our knees humble ourselves before the Lord Jesus Christ, and HELP NOT HINDER our brothers and sisters who are being attacked with ignorance, pride and vanity under the guise of church “civility”. In Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, standing in prayer with you and our persecuted brothers and sister in the Lord Jesus Christ.

    Reply
  2. […] Asian Man and Kathy Khang have posted an open letter to the North American evangelical church from its Asian-American […]

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  3. daniellui October 15, 2013

    Please don’t stop using your voice. Your voice gives us courage to speak up for our “family” to live up to the higher standard that Christ calls us to and not to just sweep it under the rug. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Kathy Khang October 21, 2013

      Thank you, Daniel, for the encouragement! I hope my voice helps others find theirs as well.

      Reply
  4. […] who have since blogged about the letter: Angry Asian Man, Kathy Khang, Rachel Held Evans, Elder,J and The Christian Post – Please let me know if you know of […]

    Reply
  5. […] who have since blogged about the letter: Angry Asian Man, Kathy Khang, Rachel Held Evans, Elder,J and The Christian Post – Please let me know if you know of […]

    Reply
  6. sopharsogood October 17, 2013

    Kathy, as someone who identifies with being an Asian American woman, I am empowered by your words. Thank you for speaking truth. Recently, I’ve been coming to recognize that I have been living in the expectations placed upon me (and that I’ve placed upon myself) as an Asian American woman: that my roles are primarily to listen and to attend to others’ needs; that I should keep personal opinions to myself so as to not offend or upset the status quo; that I contribute best as “the supporting actress.” But you have shown time and again that you have a voice, and I do, too. My (Asian) friends and I have learned much from you. Thank you for allowing God’s truth to come through your voice.

    Reply
    • Kathy Khang October 21, 2013

      And I am empowered by your words. It is so good to be on this journey together!!

      Reply
  7. […] truth-telling, and grace of leaders (many of whom I’m blessed to call friends) such as Kathy Khang, Helen Lee, Ken Fong, Sam Tsang, Nikki Toyama-Szeto, Bruce Reyes-Chow, David Park, and many, many […]

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  8. […] Open letter to the evangelical church: I am not your punchline by Kathy Khang.  ”When the Church uses bits and pieces of “my” culture – the way my parents speak English (or the way majority culture people interpret the way my parents speak English) or the way I look (or the way the majority culture would reproduce what they think I look like) – for laughs and giggles, it’s not simply a weak attempt at humor. It’s wrong. It’s hurtful.” […]

    Reply
  9. […] Oct. 14, 2013 Kathy Khang at Sojo.net “I Am Not Your Punch Line” and at More Than Serving Tea […]

    Reply
  10. […] and “swallow your suffering,” as you put it. And yet you stirred up a hornet’s nest by spearheading an open letter to the Evangelical church regarding racist stereotypes against Asian-Americans, and even directly addressed Rick Warren about […]

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  11. David Lindner September 2, 2020

    Thank you Kathy. As a pastor I consider a core part of my call is to remind people that each one of us is carefully, beautifully created in the image of God. As someone who grew up in the US Church and saturated with white privilege, I am grieved about the ways I have participated in and benefitted from the inequity perpetuated by the systemic racism in all US institutions, including the Church. It is a gift to me and others to see your pain and frustration at continued ignorance and inequity, and hear your call to embrace Jesus’ command to love God and each other who carry his image. I appreciate your truth because it can help heal my own humanity which has been twisted and corrupted by the demonic power of racism.

    Reply

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