When to hit “Remove From Friends”?

Has anyone hit “Remove From Friends” because someone has crossed the line between friend and frenemy?

So…Facebook is a major time suck. I know several hold-outs who don’t want to read that so-and-so is stuck in traffic and so-and-so is eating this amazing meal and so-and-so went to the U2 concert with her daughter and lost 2% of her hearing. 🙂

I kind of like it. I have to take my FB in small portions otherwise I get sucked in looking at photos (like my cousin posing with Ludacris is one of my favs), responding to funny status updates (like Jessica’s about “No one should be frozen in carbonite” still makes me laugh), etc. It’s like eating. Eat several small meals during the day instead of the big three which tend to make me veerrrryyyy sleeeepppyyy and in turn less productive.

For the most part I’ve figured it is his/her status and he/she can write whatever whenever. Whatever. But lately there has been quite a bit of chatter on FB by “friends” who are doing what I am doing right here – venting, and I’m feeling very conflicted.

Have you ever read someone’s status and thought, “This comment makes me uncomfortable.” Or better yet, “WHAAAT?! Are you kidding me?” 

So when you read something like that, do you engage or not? Do you ignore the status and maybe that person’s updates for awhile? If you see that person to you acknowledge the crazy status update? Or do you comment on the status?

Anyone out there unfriend a friend? If so, why? Did you think about it but decide against it? Why?

I’m looking for a few honest folks who aren’t just removing friends because they are no longer OK with not really knowing all 1,000 of their friends. I’m looking for the few folks who’ve had a bone to pick…and picked it.



  1. Grace September 27, 2009

    Well, I don’t want to leave this comment on facebook for all to see, but here’s my honest answer:


    It’s the extroverted punk way of only interacting with who I want to facebook. Right now I have about 1,200 “friends” on facebook. However, I only really want to interact with about 50-75 of them. I only ever remove someone if they are a) a weird man b) a weird man who I think may be stalking me or c) being totally offensive or disrespectful in regards to race/ethnicity or sex/sexuality issues. I’ve only ever removed about 5 people.

    And then there’s the beautiful & wonderful creation of “hide.” You can use the hide feature to literally hide people but stay “friends” with them. Every time I go on facebook (which, let’s face it is about 4 times a day) I read through the home page status updates. I “hide” anyone who is a) making too many comments & filling up my newsfeed b) annoying me c) being offensive in any way d) I’m realizing I don’t care enough to use mental energy to read their post or e) giving me the same old, same old. I.E. “I loved Grey’s Anatomy last night.” etc. etc.

    I have all but about 75 people hidden! That allows me to keep the personal function of facebook usable. Otherwise, I wouldn’t know what was going on with you b/c I’d never see your stuff in my newsfeed!

    My general rule is to find 2-5 people to “hide” every day, every time I’m on facebook which keeps my newsfeed clean & clutter free of unwanted status updates & folks (like from the 6th grade) that I really have no interest in pursuing what-so-ever, (not even for FD sake!).

    My best advice: use “hide.” Jeff Liou & I decided it’s the best thing facebook ever did! 😉

  2. Kathy Khang September 27, 2009

    So that’s what “hide” does! Duh. But wait….you didn’t like my Grey’s post? Just kidding! 😉 Great advice from you and indirectly Jeff Liou!

  3. Jody September 27, 2009

    I’ve used the hide post as well, but I’ve also deleted some friends. I think I have 700+ friends and decided some of them were simply not ever even friends to begin with. I don’t accept invites anymore if I never really knew the person (i.e. had a conversation or significant interaction that I can remember. I’ve also put a huge number of my ‘friends’ on limited profile so only the 50-100 people I care to interact with actually see my updates.

  4. Jessica September 27, 2009

    I do the hide thing too. However, I really dislike when people use their status updates as a place to complain- I’ve de-friended people because I was sick about reading how sick, stressed, mad they were.


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